Photograph Credit:  Ant Rozetsky       #christiangirl #prayerwarrior #isurrenderall #forgiveness

Hello Lovely! I’m so overjoyed to begin creating posts again after my debut blog post last year. I’ve missed connecting with you and I’ve been praying for both of us while I’ve been in the secret place. Are you in a hard season? To be honest, I am! I’m in the middle of a crushing season and it’s been several years, friend. While sleeping one night, God showed me a broader scope of the hope that was before me. The water was cool and deep. It seemed impossible to make it to land. The thought that I might perish came rushing in uninvited. 

That paralyzing moment from my dream came to my spirit many times as I continued to process life and losses in real time. No life boat. No life preserver in sight. No friend to extend a hand to pull me from deep black waters. I’d never been so far from sand and shore. “God, How did I get here?” “How did I become stranded in the middle of nowhere while obediently pursuing You with my whole heart?” The dream was divine intel from the Lord connected to my reality. 

The brokenness that’s attempted to engulf me, I’ve worn it reluctantly like that shirt you wear because your favorite top is soiled and waiting to be laundered. This garment would have never been a contender if I’d had a choice. Embracing “chosen,” has been an excruciating process. When I meet with my God on my soft, chocolate sofa during precious, still moments in my humble nest, I seek answers to those HARD questions. “Lord, You kept my vision veiled. Why didn’t You allow me to see it? For twenty years, I adored Your children. How could loving friends, siblings in Christ, cheat me for their own personal financial gain? How could another create wild stories and throw flaming arrows and false accusations at me when my heart posture was love in their seasons of detriment? Why couldn’t I see this coming God? Why didn’t I believe You if You showed me, and why did church leaders soil my reputation and cast a guilty verdict with no ability to discern the truth?”  

Hatred sought to make a home in my heart, but I forfeit being the reflection of Christ if I respond to betrayal with anything other than the love of God. The burden of wanting to speak my truth, fight my own battles, declare my innocence- almost ensnared me. My pain has a voice. Impatience and self-justice, the temptation to personally redeem what was stolen from my family, is the immoral language spoken in adversity. True exoneration must come from the Righteous Judge. LOVE IS THE ANSWER to mistreatment. I chose to surrender to the just Judge and imitate Mary by soaking in all of the gems at Jesus’ feet in great humility (Luke 10:38-42). 

I CHOOSE JESUS! I relinquish the entitlement to hate. Jesus is the deed holder of this body, so I CHOOSE JESUS, to absorb my pain and sorrow. God’s scaling off impurities and streamlining my character. Through tears I accept where Father has me, knowing He’s preparing me to be used when I am most wounded. The heartache is a part of the training. Closeness with Him is the prize for discomfort. I tell you, I’m soaking in a well of healing by refusing to move from beside the Messiah’s feet. I see what happens next in the water now. In the distance, I see a red buoy floating in the deep. I chose to swim to the anchored buoy, pacing myself during the long swim ahead. The buoy is Jesus and he was always present in the deep. He’s present in the crushing.

Going through a season where God is drawing out impurities sister? Feeling the pressure of being crushed in exchange for unexplainable wholeness and dependability that’s a testimony of the glory and goodness of God? You’re in good company darling sis. I have five scriptures that you can hold close to your heart on the hardest days. 

5 Scriptures for Enduring Crushing Seasons

Job 42:1-3

Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

Deuteronomy 4:35

You were shown these things so that you might know that the Lord is God; besides him there is no other. 

Revelations 3:5

He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. 

Hebrews 10:35-36

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

John 14:1

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 

I love you girl! We’re going to make it! Thank you for visiting. I pray that your heart is a little less heavy after reading today’s post. Wishing you love, hope and eternal beauty always…   




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